I haven't blogged in awhile because I've already blogged about whats on my heart. So I start wondering whether I'm learning anything new or not?
Well I guess that can't be it because I certainly learned a lot at resolved and multiple times a week at or from Berean.
Maybe I'm not doing enough?
That may be true but I do read, pray, go to bible study, church, serve hmmm maybe i need to evangelize more?
But then I guess i learn often enough to know it's not exactly what I do that grows me but rather how I'm growing that compels me to do what I do (and with what kind of attitude)
Maybe I just lack lack passion?
Hmm... maybe but then I don't even know what that would look like in me. I am not passionate about many things and the things that I am passionate about I think manifests itself into just talking about it alot, but then I talk about God more than I talk about those things, I even blog about my relationship with Him....
So maybe I need another discipler (PPC went to China for a year! and yes I will find another) or more genuine fellowship and accountability
But then I have had PPC for almost a year really challenging and rebuking me and that has been so helpful in reallizing where i need to grow.
Hmmm.... sorry I don't know what exactly makes someone grow. But I know all those things are good things that I will continue to strive for. I don't know where I heard it from but I remember hearing that a growing Christians needs to her/himself in the way or righteousness. You may not be righteous or holy but it doesn't help when your not in an environment that supports that kind of growth.
I won't fret about not growing as much as I would like, I will just be all the more resolved to be obedient. An ayenjul sent this to me yesterday. http://www.heartlight.org/spurgeon/0710-pm.html there is still darkness in me. Probably a whole lot of it. But by grace I can still be day through Christ and one day He will make me light only.
Apart from that, it is all God's timing. I wish to be instantly sanctified but I know the process is what will glorify God. His plan will be fulfilled in the manner He has decided, whether i like it or not.
So please grow me Lord.
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