"Now you know what it's like to have kids"

So today was Berean SOW primary group activity... Bubblefest at the discovery center. Sorry if this isn't particularly coherent, I'm tired and have a massive headache. Why the headache?

well...

I was driving Zachary and Jonathan back to the church office from the discovery center. They were counting down the time it would take to get to the church office.... only.... they gave me 10 seconds. So they got to 0 by the time i left the parking lot. At this point they begin to chant zero zero zero zero zero zero.... in unison of course. Raising the volume of radio serves to proportionately raise the volume of the two in the back of my car.... 15 minutes and a billion "zero zero zero"'s later we arrive at the church office and they finally stop.

Zachary comes up to me and says "Now you know what it's like to have kids."

Interestingly enough... I still can't wait (after this headache goes away)

It's thursday

And I haven't had a day off since new years >_<

Unexpected Grace

I'm compelled to blog about grace, because I don't always give it, too often expect it, and undeservingly have received it. (i made up undeservingly... totally not a word but its late and I'm tired and drained)

Fact of the matter is, I don't deserve God's grace, yet somehow, for reasons I won't understand, I have received it. And understanding is a problem of mine. I always want to understand. I want to understand things, and people, and situations because then I know how to handle them. Perhaps because I don't understand how anyone can deserve grace, I don't know how to handle it. I don't give it enough yet I expect it for myself.

Well if I can understand that much I can come to two conclusions.

God is gracious so I need to be. That is my calling. There is no reasoning behind why I must or how I can be. I simply must be gracious. I think it finds its root in love. I must be loving and out of love comes grace. Why and how these things are what they are, I do not know, but I firmly believe God is glorified as such.

Second, I can not expect grace if i am undeserving. Under no circumstances can I really expect anyone to be gracious to me nor can i ask anyone to be gracious to me. That seems quite impractical but quite frankly the truth. However, it is likely that I will be shown grace. But considering how it can not be expected there is only one thing I can do. I must work to be a person deserving of grace knowing that I never will be. I know I mess up in areas and there's quite literally a list of flaws that I have. I must say, theres so much apparently wrong with me that it can be a huge burden, defeating even, but what glory would God gain from that? Indeed I have been blessed with His grace but to not work out my own salvation in fear and trembling would not only be disobedience, but would not glorify God in any way.

unfortunately, its not always what i can or can't do about something... things like sanctification... glorification... the perfection I won't be until God makes me so needs to be realized. It is God who works in me. I must play my part but I do nothing on my own. Too often I talk about doing things when what I mean is just be obedient, pray, and trust.

Back by request

Haha not really request, more like inquiry. Not quite the same thing.

I've actually been considering coming back to this blog a lot recently just because I've been learning a lot.

Anyway, to start off, I quite literally think in terms of an engineer. As most could probably guess, the source of my most recent praise reports and struggles are from my relationship with my stunning and amazing girlfriend. I imagine relationships like an amplifier (in comes the engineer speak). The thing about amplifiers is they amplify your input/output. So what you do with an amplifier is, you have some kind of input... say... in millivolts (thousandths of volts). Plug it into an amplifier and now you have an output in volts! This way the overall signal is magnified and easier to read and thats good. Good stuff amplified... sweet. But every signal also has noise or static and that gets amplified too. Bad stuff amplified... meh.

Well neither I nor my girlfriend are electrical signals.

So anyway, on to what I was going to blog about. A friend of mine just started dating last week (congrats) and asked what I would advise. After thinking about it I decided to tell him to "be a man"

Be A Man

I guess theres two aspects of this because my friend first thought I meant he needs to assertive and strong. Well.. yes of course. With the right issues of course. But being a man in this regard means being assertive and strong in what matters, important issues, not just all the time. For example.... I will do my best to make sure my girlfriend goes to church, bible study, continues to serve, meet up with others, read, pray, eat, sleep, and just not be idle in general. (not too hard at all with my girlfriend ^_^) With these things, I will hold my ground and not budge on my position but again I'm just a boyfriend, I can't make her do anything, just encourage and exort. But at the same time I'm not going to tell her what books to read, what to wear, what to watch, what to eat... etc. Unless I have a strong conviction about one of these, she is her own person with her own ideas and interests and preferences and i love it. I don't want to make her someone who I think I would like, I already like her and care about her, and that second part is why I don't budge on the important stuff. Ultimately, be strong because you care about her and want to protect her.

Thats pretty general but anyway what I really meant when I said be a man was.... suck it up. Be humble. One of the first bits of advice I got when i started dating was. Pick your battles. I remember a sermon from pastor Peter that seems relevant. He was talking about Christian division and majoring on majors, minoring on minors. He was specifically talking about particular theologies that Christians debate over. The thing is, its not practical and often not best to fight and die on every hill (issue). If you're going to die on a hill, then pick one. If you survive, theres always more hills, but choose the important one! And on each hill be humble. Honestly, a relationship is probably one of the most difficult places to be humble, but the most necessary. I've been told and I know for myself that actions speak way way louder than words, so be a man and do it. Be humble, be selfless, be considerate, understanding, sympathetic, encouraging, supportive, serving, and everything you should be anyway!

I feel like it can be overwhelming to be everything God's told you to be all at once. If you've been blessed with someone you love like I have, then what an awesome and easy starting point to really be your best for God, and in turn you will be your best for her.

By the way I am also way blessed by her and what she does and thats a post that can go on forever, this one was just about how I'm blessed with her (as opposed to by her? I dunno... makes sense in my head.... haha)

goodness what scattered post. I have no writing style, just type as i think....

^_^