I got a new car!

Well, as far as technicalities go, according to the DMV I owned a new car for a day then traded it back for my old car.

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It's not what you can do for the things you don't have, but what you do with what you do have.

It makes sense in my head, though even there its a little confusing and the line between the two can be very thin.  I think that sometimes I work hard as a student so that I can get good grades, but a better way to approach school is to work hard because I'm a student.  You see? its a difference of motivation.  Do something so that verses do something because of.

Ya its making more sense now.  It's very obvious to born again Christians that we don't obey to earn anything we don't have, to gain blessing, or favor with God.  That may happen apart from our work, but our work can't be motivated by what we get.  It's more important to work because of what we already have in Christ and as a result of who God is.

Thats not to say we shouldn't aspire to bigger things in our lives but that those things would not be the ultimate goal.  Recently I very nearly bought a car, signed papers and everything.  I called my parents to give them the final word, and what seemed to be a gross misunderstanding led to a cancellation of that particular deal.  Well that was the particular car that I wanted with the color and options I wanted and I knew it was probably one of the last ones in California.  I'm not really sure where my parents stand on the issue then or now but for the last two weeks my dad has been looking for the same kind of car (since the one i was going to buy was bought by someone else a few days later).  Turns out, that was probably my only chance to get that car.  Maybe I will try again in November when they restart production of the car.

What I'm getting at is that this was a disappointment to me, but probably not as much as most people think.  After all, as much as I love cars, its a little relieving to not commit to a $35k purchase, even though I can pretty easily afford it.  I could tell my mom was very worried about me being angry at them after the fact.  Well she told me that.  While I did make owning that car my goal, in the midst of it I found an opportunity to show my parents that I AM different now.  That I'm not going to cry and try to guilt them.  I found an opportunity to show them that what I value isn't worth $35k and isn't even in this world.

I could have easily fulfilled that goal of owning that car.  After all, I am an adult with an income and have been fairly independant for 4 or so years.  I had permission but no support.  And since they had a reasonable argument, it was more important to make my parents happy and to show them how unimportant something like a new car is to me.

My joy is in Christ whom I have, and there is nothing I can gain that can add to that joy.  I thank God for the opportunity to place my trust and joy in Him, even if it means I need to be disappointed in something or another.

Prune me Lord, I know you understand what is best for me much more than I do.