I felt like complaining. I want to say that I'm tired. That I just want to lay down and give up. Relinquish the SAN responsibilities that I've taken. Not have to deal with some people. Not have to work in front of a computer screen for 9 hours. I feel like giving up. Disciplines are hard. Behind in yotb. Can't memorize like I used to. Must read and be an example for my small group (who don't read this blog). Life can be hard.
But I won't give up because of who I am working for. Not myself, but my Father in heaven
-sata
That's what I might say today, but in light of this week. That rant is laughable. This is how it plays out in my mind
I felt like complaining but didn't. I want to say that I'm physically tired, but my heart yearns for these people. My flesh wants to lay down and give up but I press on and strive. I need to relinquish their responsibility to the things they've done and take them upon myself. I will deal with and for all people, even though they revile me. I will work and suffer for the last 12 hours of my life. My body gives up, but I do not. But I know what has been written and what must happen. My life will be an example to all generations.
Giving up is not an option. I work for my Father in heaven.
Maybe thats how Jesus would look at my pathetic rant. And somehow, not out of guilt, or necessarily duty, but the love I remind myself of rejuvinates me (well a bit to be honest).
Anyway, that was a conversation I had with myself in my mind just now and I'm inbetween projects so I typed it out so I'd remember.
Yes I have conversations with myself in my mind. It's how I kick myself in the butt when I'm being stupid
No comments:
Post a Comment